How to avoid a mess...

Ever found your self, your life, in somewhat of a mess – and wondered how you got there? Many people seem to blame other people or external events for the mess. However, if you are reading this blog, my guess is you are at least starting to question “how much did I have to do with it?” – and what might I do to avoid future messes???

And yes, I am also guessing you know what I mean by a mess. We could be more politically correct and call it a “challenge” or an “opportunity”. We could be somewhat more blunt and call it a “problem”; but “mess” seems to have a lighter feel to it, and give the sense the situation is retrievable.

Having just attended a great retreat as a participant, there has been the opportunity to contemplate all this – and to realise the answers may be a whole lot simpler than we often first think. Simple, yet profound possibilities are open to us…

So this week, along with some detail of the rapidly approaching 8 week online Meditation and Contemplation program (starts 13th February), and details of this year’s meditation retreats and Meditation Teacher Training programs, some insights; but first

     Thought for the day

   You can search the whole world 

   For someone more worthy of your love 

   Than yourself, 

   And you will not find anyone.

   Whoever loves themselves 

   Will never harm another.

                      The Buddha

So maybe it is as simple as this… 

When something difficult comes into your life – in the form of a personal interaction, or some difficult circumstances – how do you react?

My sense is we can simplify this. Do you respond emotionally? Intellectually? Or with wisdom?

My guess is for many of us, the choice is even easier. 

We react habitually, and the “choice” we have is to react either emotionally or with wisdom - OR - intellectually or with wisdom. 

With the underlying suggestion in either case it is likely to be the former, rather than the latter. 

The reaction, the response is driven either by emotion or intellect, and wisdom is an after thought…

So consider this… When we react with emotion to difficulties, and anger is a very common response; with anger or other tricky emotions we have little chance to think clearly; we have every chance of creating a mess.

When we react with intellect, we may be thinking of what to do, how best to respond, but again, without heart of wisdom, there is still a good chance of creating a mess.

So what to do? Nothing would be a good start! With anger, we tend to jump right in, do what first occurs, and so very often create a mess. So if instead we stand back for a few moments, give the difficulties some space, allow the heat to go out of the situation; then maybe we think a little more clearly, maybe we can access our wisdom a little more directly…

That old maxim of count to ten – slowly – is not heard so much these days. My sense is it could help many people…

And what of wisdom? What we are really speaking of here is all those positive emotions and qualities. 

Like empathy, kindness, compassion, love, patience, tolerance and so on. 

And practices like understanding, forgiveness, gratitude, delight in the success of others, and so on.

These are not difficult things of themselves, just very hard to express when we are caught up in anger, guilt, shame, blame, grief and so on.

So how to move towards a more wisdom-based response? 

This of course is where meditation and contemplation come in. 

One of the first things we learn with meditation is to slow down, to be more observant of what is really going on – as opposed to what we think or project is going on – and to take time to contemplate and then act more considerately.

Meditation on its own can bring clarity and inner peace; and a perspective that does enable us to be kinder, more considerate and more capable. However, meditation goes hand in glove with contemplation. With contemplation we learn to analyse the nature of our lives, the circumstances we find ourselves to be in, and the relationships we have with other people and our environment.

When we take the time to meditate and contemplate as a regular routine, and when we remember to slow down, pause, maybe even formally meditate and contemplate before making big choices, big decisions; then there is ever chance we will avoid creating a mess, and instead create something quite beautiful.

Happy days…

 

COMING EVENTS

Bookings are now open

VENUE for all programs will be the Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia

Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-1: Meditation   12 – 16 May 2025

The core training for those new to teaching meditation, or for those seeking to deepen their skills. Five days, fully residential with an extensive manual to guide delivery of an 8 week Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation program, or adapt to your own needs

Meditation in the Forest   Seven day meditation retreat open to all   2 – 8 June 2025

This year the focus will be on meditation – for inner peace and clarity; along with contemplation – for clear thinking, problem solving, creativity, insight, intuition and exploring the big questions in life. A great retreat; one of my very favourites!

Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-3: Imagery   1 – 5 November 2025

Training in how to teach both meditation and imagery. This training explores in depth how the mind works and how we can use it more effectively. Fascinating, personally relevant and highly empowering for your communities. Also five days, fully residential with an extensive manual.

Deep Natural Peace     Long weekend mini retreat    14 – 16 November

Towards the end of the year, an ideal opportunity for some time out, some gentle introspection and reflection, letting go of the busyness and finishing the year on a meditative high.

Online Program with Ian: MEDITATION and CONTEMPLATION

Ian will present an 8 Week Online Program, Meditation and Contemplation program from 13 February to 3 April 2025 each Thursday, 7.30 – 9.00pm AEDT. 

The program has been designed to be suitable for those new to meditation and contemplation, as well as those more experienced who are looking to reconnect and dive deeper into these transformative domains.

What the Program Offers

·      Personal instruction and guided practices with Ian Gawler, live, online for 1.5 hours each Thursday for 8 weeks.

·      Email reminders each week with the Zoom link, plus key points from the previous session.

·      The opportunity to discuss and learn with other participants through regular interactive sessions.

·      Question and answer sessions with Ian Gawler each week.

·      Access to revisit the recording of each session for 3 months.

You can register via Eventbrite, using this LINK