Three Month Solitary, Silent Retreat – The Preparation

It is not a particularly common thing to leave day-to-day life behind and head off for a 3 month, solitary, silent retreat. Having just done so, many have been asking – Why? How? What happened? And given there does not seem to be much on record from others who have done this, it could be useful to provide some details.

Now, to be clear, there must be many ways to approach and complete a retreat like this, and in the broader scheme of things, many people do much longer retreats. So this is one story, to be told in 3 parts – the preparation, the process (what I did), and the discernible outcomes. So this week, the preparation, but first

            Thought for the day

     A powerful jet plane needs a good pilot; 

     The pilot of your mind should be the wisdom 

     That understands its own nature. 

     In that way, 

     You can direct your powerful mental energy 

     To benefit your life 

     Instead of letting it run about uncontrollably 

     Like a mad elephant, 

     Destroying yourself and others.


                           Lama Thubten Yeshe

Preparing for a 3 month solitary, silent retreat

There is a lot to do! A bit like going on a long holiday, one needs to clear the space to be able to get away, and then ensure all required is in place…

The Lead-up

Speaking personally – as much of this account will be – my whole life led to this retreat. If you consider this for a moment, everything we have thought, done and felt throughout our life impacts upon and guides what we do in any given moment. And who knows about the impact of previous lives? 

What we can say with certainty, is there is quite a build up before making the decision to engage in a longer retreat. 

So I have been on around 50 retreats as a participant – ranging from a week up to 3 months. 

Yet all but one week were in the company of others and with a teacher present; as both a guide and an anchor. 

Also, I have led or co-led around 100 meditation retreats for others, along with over 200 residential retreat-like programs for people dealing with major illness; mostly cancer and some MS.

I mention this to point out this latest retreat did not involve me “jumping off into the deep end”; I have plenty of prior experience with being on retreat; although only one week with the solitary, silent version.

Motivation

So why do it? Excellent question. Motivation is the reason we do things. In Tibetan Buddhism, they often speak of 3 levels of motivation – outer, inner and secret. The outer reason is the one you would tell anyone. The inner reason is kept for close friends, while the secret reason may be shared with your intimate confidant or not shared at all.

On the outer level, the retreat offered the opportunity for a focussed period of study and practice. 

On the inner, more personal level, I had several aims in mind. 

The first was, to regain some clarity and stability after emerging from a severe health problem after Easter this year. 

Having been hospitalised and unable to eat or drink for 10 days, I had become severely debilitated, and my concentration was shot. 

Then, having been on a profound 3 month retreat in France in 2015, there was a strong motivation to go over the notes and practice the techniques from that retreat in some sustained depth.

On the secret level, it is always to do with the quest for enlightenment. For me, and for this retreat, amongst other things, this involved the aspiration to address one of the key issues of this life - to contemplate the nature of reality; and to challenge the inordinate attachment we all seem to have to self.

Volition or Will-power

Volition, or as we more commonly know it, will-power, is different to motivation. Our motivation reflects our desire to do something and is held as a goal, while volition concerns our level of commitment to achieving that goal. Volition is to do with how much drive we have; how much energy we put into accomplishing a particular goal.

To go on an extended retreat, one needs both; the motivation needs to be clear, the volition strong. Not sure you could manufacture either really, or why you would want to? Unless both arise quite naturally with clarity and strength, my guess is one would not embark on such a venture. I was totally committed!

The Logistics

Making time

It is not so easy amidst the busyness of modern life and with all our inter-personal relationships, work and other pre-occupations, to disengage from them all for 3 months. I am fortunate to be semi-retired and self-employed and to have an enthusiastically supportive partner in my wife, Ruth.

But also, having in days gone by taken months off when working full time amidst family commitments, there is a choice to be made… Take time away and aim to come back a better person; or maintain the status quo. Worth reflecting upon…

Finding a venue

There are few opportunities available within Australia for solitary, silent retreats. 

I looked widely and was fortunate that Maitripa, the Buddhist Retreat Centre in the hills outside Healesville in Victoria offered me a single room on the periphery of their accommodation. 

Happily, being winter, they only had a couple of external groups stay during my time, so there were few external distractions.

Also, the couple who act as caretakers, Daniel and Lisa, were incredibly supportive, generating a very conducive atmosphere while keeping both silence and distance with me. 

Catering

As I planned to self-cater, there was a need to stock up with non-perishables before the retreat – and purchase 3 large tin trunks for storage. Obtaining fresh food appeared a challenge until a friend and colleague – who happens to be a Buddhist nun living in Healesville – heard of my plans and offered to shop for me. This worked really well. I sent a weekly email to Zangmo, whom some may have met as the fabulous shiatsu therapist on many of our retreats; and she silently dropped the goodies off each week :)

Also, to avoid interactions with others, a make-shift kitchen was set up on the veranda near my room, and again, I was fortunate to realise at the last minute that instead of cooking with a gas burner, there are now available small, portable, electric, induction cooktops and one of these worked very well. 

Bit chilly making dinner on the cold, dark winter nights, but preparing the meal in daylight made that easier…

Resources

I took notes from previous retreats, just 3 books to read, a diary, note paper, a big rug for the floor to make the room cosier, and plenty of woollies. I did take a computer and mobile. Had the mobile off pretty much the whole time; used the computer to look up material relevant to the retreat and check the results of the Olympics and AFL finals. Some things are just not worth fighting :)

Health

In the lead up, and on starting the retreat, my health was quite fragile. My tummy in particular was still quite unhappy. It felt like it could relapse any time and have me needing to call an ambulance once again. Also, I had only put on a little weight since the stint in hospital and my energy levels were still very low. On top of this, for around 2 hours each day, I was having a bout of feeling painfully tired. Having had high energy levels all my life, this was quite a change; particularly to feel painfully tired.

But there was a need to face the reality that if I did put off starting the retreat, given all the inter-dependent factors at play, I would be either reducing the retreat time accordingly, or cancelling altogether. Neither appealed, so the decision was made to start…

Therefore, noticing the dance around hope and fear, on Sunday, 2nd July, I formally entered into the first day of the retreat.

Next post: The Process – what I actually did on retreat…

 

COMING EVENTS

The residential programs Ruth and I will present in 2025 are now set. 

We are currently upgrading our website so we can share the relevant information more easily. Once this is completed, we will announce when bookings can commence, but for now, maybe make a note of the dates:

VENUE for all programs will be the Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia

Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-1: Meditation   12 – 16 May 2025

The core training for those new to teaching meditation, or for those seeking to deepen their skills. Five days, fully residential with an extensive manual to guide delivery of an 8 week Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation program, or adapt to your own needs

Meditation in the Forest   Seven day meditation retreat open to all   2 – 8 June 2025

This year the focus will be on meditation – for inner peace and clarity; along with contemplation – for clear thinking, problem solving, creativity, insight, intuition and exploring the big questions in life. A great retreat; one of my very favourites!

Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-3: Imagery   1 – 5 November 2025

Training in how to teach both meditation and imagery. This training explores in depth how the mind works and how we can use it more effectively. Fascinating, personally relevant and highly empowering for your communities. Also five days, fully residential with an extensive manual.

Deep Natural Peace     Long weekend mini retreat    14 – 16 November

Towards the end of the year, an ideal opportunity for some time out, some gentle introspection and reflection, letting go of the busyness, a little conversation, maybe some silence and lots of time to meditate together. Finish the year on a meditative high...

Also to note: The wonderfully Sandy Clinton who has been our much-appreciated administrator is unable to continue into 2025. In her place, we now have the equally delightful Mel Crow, whom many might recall from her days working in programs for the Gawler Foundation. So a big thank you to Sandy, and a warm welcome to Mel; no doubt the changeover will be seamless.