It is not easy to imagine what it must be like to have 2 small children and to be diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. I met a woman who had this experience some 20 years previously. She was alive and well and naturally I was curious – what had happened?
Well she said, “I was so overwhelmed at the time, I sort of freaked out. I refused the treatment that was offered as it promised to make me sick, and no one could give any assurance it would work long term; and I knew I had to be there for my children. My husband could not cope, and to make matters worse, he soon left.
“So I just got on with life.
I was so focused on my children, there was no room for anything else.
I did not think about the cancer all that much.
I did not even have check-ups.
It was not until quite some years later I had the space and time to wonder and did return to my doctor; and all the cancer had gone.”
Now this lady came to none of our programs.
To my knowledge she changed very little in her lifestyle; she was just totally focused on being there for her children.
She told me “I just could not die and leave the children alone”.
Now it would be unkind in the extreme to suggest this woman was mis-diagnosed. That would be intellectually lazy.
And I must confess I love extreme stories like this. Firstly, how wonderful this mother is still there for her children. Second, how sad many other mothers have done the best they could, and yet still faced leaving their children through death.
But stories such as this one provoke us to think. They are extreme. I am not suggesting what this lady did might work for someone else. But often, extreme stories do point to something very useful; in this case, the power meaning can play in our lives. So this week, we delve into the connection between meditation and meaning, along with providing more details of coming events, but first
Thought for the day:
A mind filled with fear can still be penetrated
By the quality of loving kindness.
Moreover, a mind that is saturated by loving kindness
Cannot be overcome by fear;
Even if fear should arise,
It will not overpower such a mind.
Sharon Salzberg Viktor Frankl with his second wife Eleonore 1995
Many will have read Viktor Frankl’s great book Man’s Search for Meaning - named one of the ten most influential books in the US. Frankl was born in Vienna in 1905. As a medical student, in 1929 and 30 he initiated a program to help allay the high suicide rates in students. In 1931 no students suicided. Frankl became a student of Freud, and moved on to Adler – both leading exponents of treating what they regarded as internal neurosis.
Adler rejected Frankl based on Frankl's assertion that meaning was more important for therapy. Frankl then published scholarly papers on what he developed and termed Logotherapy, which is founded on the premise that the primary motivational force of individuals is to find meaning in life.
Frankl stated ”What man actually needs is not a tensionless state, but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him”. These were the days before gender issues were better addressed!
Anyway, Frankl was close to completing a book to elaborate his theories when the war intervened, and being Jewish, he was sent from Vienna to the concentration camps. Surviving and emerging to find his pregnant wife and the rest of his family had been murdered in the camps, he re-wrote the book that came to be titled Man’s Search for Meaning.
From the very early days of our cancer programs, I recommended the book and highlighted 2 of its main points:
1. In the camps, where it was so easy to die, Frankl observed those who had a reason to live, those who had meaning, tended to live longer than those without.
Also, if people lost their will to live, they commonly died quite quickly.
2. In these heinous places, where all efforts were made to strip people of their dignity and their freedom, Frankl observed there was one freedom that could not be taken away.
If people were able to recognise it and hold onto it, their ultimate freedom, the freedom no-one could take from them, was their freedom to choose how they responded to their circumstances.
So if this meant do I go into a gas chamber being dragged kicking and screaming, or do I walk in with my head held high, no one can take that choice away from me.
Back to this, “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state, but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him”. Meditation’s immediate benefit for many is a “tensionless state”! My sense, however, like for Frankl, is that if we leave it there, life could be pretty bland; could be meaningless.
This is why we go deeper with meditation – into mindfulness, awareness and stillness. Stillness may seem from the outside as a tensionless, bland state; however, it is filled with energy and with creative potential. I am yet to meet a serious meditator who was not highly engaged with life and their community. And the stillness of deeper meditation is synergistically supported by contemplation and imagery; they all work inter-dependently to support and enhance each other.
So consider this: “Why am I here and what am I good for?”
Well worth contemplating repeatedly.
Highly likely to draw out the meaning in your life.
As the basis of his Logotherapy, Frankl spoke of three primary domains that fed meaning and were therapeutic:
1. We learn to overcome obsessions or anxieties by self-distancing and humorous exaggeration.
2. We make the conscious effort to draw our attention away from our symptoms, as hyper-reflection can lead to inaction.
3. We ask ourselves questions (or our therapist does) designed to help us find and pursue self-defined meaning in life.
So finally, maybe we do some rewording:
“What people actually need is a stable and tensionless state, along with the unattached striving, and effortless yet determined struggling for some goal worthy of them”.
When did you last read the book? Maybe worth a revisit… Enjoy!!!
Online Program with Ian: MEDITATION and CONTEMPLATION
This new 8 Week Online Program is now underway with a lovely group of people joining in.
There is a plan to record the sessions and make them available as a self-study program; more on this later…
COMING EVENTS
VENUE: The Yarra Valley Living Centre, 55 Rayner Crt, Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia
Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-1: Meditation 12 – 16 May 2025
The core training for those new to teaching meditation, or for those seeking to deepen their skills. Five days, fully residential with an extensive manual to guide delivery of an 8 week Mindfulness-based Stillness Meditation program, or adapt to your own needs
Meditation in the Forest Seven day meditation retreat open to all 2 – 8 June 2025
This year the focus will be on meditation – for inner peace and clarity; along with contemplation – for clear thinking, problem solving, creativity, insight, intuition and exploring the big questions in life. A great retreat; one of my very favourites and filling fast.
Meditation Teacher Training – MTT-3: Imagery 1 – 5 November 2025
Training in how to teach both meditation and imagery. This training explores in depth how the mind works and how we can use it more effectively. Fascinating, personally relevant and highly empowering for your communities. Also five days, fully residential with an extensive manual.
Deep Natural Peace Long weekend mini retreat 14 – 16 November
Towards the end of the year, an ideal opportunity for some time out, some gentle introspection and reflection, letting go of the busyness and finishing the year on a meditative high.
You register for any of the residential programs through our website